So Long, Insecurity: You've Been a Bad Friend to Us

Review by Jill Williamson

I love Beth Moore. I've never met her, but I've done several of her Bible studies and had the privilege of attending one of her conferences. The woman inspires me. Why? Because she's real. She's suffered through life, just like the rest of us, and she refuses to let that define her. Praise Jesus for that! That, and her passion for studying the Word of God, draws me, and thousands of other women, to her like sheep to a shepherd. She is a disciple of Jesus. She teaches His truth in a wonderful, personal, life-changing way.

So when I saw this book, I knew I needed it. I've always had low self-esteem. And I am plagued by insecurity. The smallest little comment will send me into a spiral of woe. One example, I have the nasty habit of interpreting faces. I can read minds, too, you know. If someone looks at me funny, I know I did something to make them upset with me, and I can't stand it until I know everything is okay again. I've also trained myself to interpret email tones. I entertain my husband every time I read an email to him. He says I read every word with a negative, attacking tone, as if the author has a personal agenda against me--or someone.

One of my husband's most telling phrases is: It must be exhausting being you.

Well, ouch.

But he's right. It is exhausting being so insecure. I don't mean to do this to myself. And I'm tired of it. And a bit ticked off, as Beth was in the beginning of her book. Having read the book, I will say that I now have confidence that I can beat this thing. Insecurity distracts our minds from living the life God intends for us. It keeps us weak instead of strong. It keeps us distant instead of loving. It keeps us judging instead of reaching out and building lasting friendships.

Once again, Beth Moore has inspired me. I'm saying, "So long, Insecurity! You don't own this girl!" Whoo hoo! Now that's something to get excited about. If you've ever felt insecure, sit down and talk it out with Beth. And that's exactly what this book was. A nice, long, heart to heart with Beth Moore about a topic that plagues us. I highly recommend it.

I've received so much benefit from Beth Moore's Bible studies, particularly her studies of Esther and David.

But, I didn't find this book to be helpful. In my opinion, there isn't enough content here to justify a book.

The first half of the book discusses seven factors that contribute to women struggling with insecurity: instability in the home, significant loss, rejection, life change events such as a move, contemporary culture, and pride/perfectionism.

I was frustrated by the fact that these chapters consisted largely of anecdotes from Beth's friends and readers of her blog. Beth referred to having done "research" for these chapters, but that research wasn't evident in her writing. Missing from these chapters was any sort of in-depth analysis of the seven issues.

The second half of the book stresses the importance of finding our security in God. This is so true and is certainly worth stating again and again! But missing from the chapters was the rich interweaving of Scripture and practical application material that I've come to expect from Beth's teaching. Again, anecdotes came at the expense of depth and exposition.

However, there was one chapter in the book that really spoke to me - Chapter 8, A Beautiful Prize Called Dignity. This chapter contains a study of Proverbs 31:25, a verse that Beth beautifully revisits at the end of the book. This chapter represents Beth Moore at her best and is why I so value her teaching.

Finally, Beth briefly touches on the importance of discernment with respect to the contemporary culture. This material was intriguing, but was an aside so could not be presented in detail. I would love to see Beth pick up this topic in future teaching.

Bottom line: for me, the book didn't live up to the high standard Beth has set in her earlier teaching.

Today Beth Moore's newest book titled "So Long Insecurity: You've been a bad friend to us" is released in stores. I had the privilege of previewing the book. Beth says in the opening of this book that this is as close to an autobiography as she's ever written. Her humble and open heart is spilled out on every page as she openly shares her own insecurities.


Beth defines insecurity plain and simply: "not secure". Then she goes further in each chapter digging down into the depths of insecurity from self-doubt to perfectionism to preoccupation with self - she reveals many types of insecurities we all deal with.

She reminds us that all we have to do is be born on planet earth to be insecure. A host of troubles are common to humankind. We should be careful who we covet or who we judge as "having it all". Nobody has everything! We think - well if I had that house or that body or that pretty face or that fabulous man or that degree I'd be secure too. But what we are saying is money, beauty, a great man, or prestige will make us secure. That is all false!

At one point she says "women use men like mirrors" to see if they are okay. In our media saturated culture, the bar for beauty has been raised to a standard that our grandma's did not have to deal with!

So what do we do with all these insecurities? Psalm 29:11 says "The Lord gives his people strength; the Lord grants his people security." There is nothing secure in this world - we must cling to Jesus for our strength and security. This book is a great reminder of God's truth on security.

Walk with the King!
Courtney
[...]

Although I am a huge fan of Beth Moore's work, I was hoping for more with this book. It was very conversational with a similar message in each chapter. I kept waiting for a solution from scripture reinforced with a list of steps to take toward finding our security in Christ. I was probably simply looking for something that this book was not aimed for. I wanted a new book for my bible study group and had done a "Significance" book in the past that was very heavy, yet very effective, so was looking for a lighter version of that. That being said, I would have loved to see more of a focus on scripture and the answers we can find by finding our significance in Christ with reinforcement from the word. I adore Beth's bible studies and am a Protestant leading small groups in a Catholic environment, I have seen many lives transformed through Beth's teaching. A side note would have been another cover option. Comments from the group were "it's hard to read about security when the author appears flawless". For this type of subject, because Beth is so beautiful, I would have chosen a graphic or something generic/neutral for the cover. Everyone in the group took off the book sleeve...

I have been a huge fan of Beth Moore over the years. Her Bible Studies have always helped to push my walk with the Lord right along. I have never been disappointed by any of Beth Moore's books or studies.

So Long, Insecurity was no different. I will be vulnerable and say that I am a woman who suffers from insecurity. It is because of my stupid insecurity that I have not pursued all kinds of dreams. It was the fear of failure or inadequacy that cripled me. For this reason, I was beyond thrilled when I saw that Beth Moore wrote an entire book on the subject. We women have got to get control of ourselves and live the lives that God intended for us. Lives that are full of confidence, security, and love for the One who created us.

Beth starts the book by pointing what a terrible epidemic insecurity is for most women, and men too! I spent most of that part saying, "Yep, yep, and yep!" She then points out seven factors that contribute to women's insecurity, such as contemporary culture or past abuse. The books ends with how to walk away from insecurity, leave it in the dark, and walk into the arms of Jesus.

So Long, Insecurity is written in Beth Moore's typical familiar style. You almost feel like you are talking to a good friend over a good cup of coffee. She provides tons of anecdotes that make all the insecurity talk make sense. My one complaint about this book is that she does not use as much scripture as I have grown accustomed to expecting from her. When I open a Beth Moore book I expect to dive into scripture, be guided through, and to be changed on the other side. I gleaned a lot from this book but I missed Beth's typical use of scripture.

I would recommend this book as a way to introduce the problem of insecurity and as a springboard to a deeper study of scripture.

Highly Recommended!

Note: I received this book from Tyndale House Publishers as a review copy and I have presented my honest opinion.