What to Expect the First Year

I was suprised how much I liked this book, since I didn't like the What to Expect pregnancy guide. I consider myself a fairly intelligent person, with three sibilings I helped take care of and a I was a Red Cross certified babysitter for years. But, when I had my own baby, I realized how much I had forgotten or simply didn't know. What is the normal body temperature for an infant? How many times a day should he have a bowel movement or a wet diaper, and why is that something important to know to keep track of baby's health? When is it okay to begin feeding your baby rice cereal? When is it okay to start on solids? When can you begin giving him those "risk of allergy" foods, such as strawberries, nuts and wheat? I found this book a wonderful resource of imformation, since the doctor's office is not open at 3 a.m., but I'm up taking care of the baby, wondering these things.
There are some very sensitive childraising issues which they present in this book. One of which is breastfeeding vs. bottle feeding. This book presents a non-biased view of the reasons behind each choice. If you are bottlefeeding, it contains information on how to do it safely and with love. If you are breastfeeding, you will need more information than is presented here, and I suggest you read up on books specifically covering breastfeeding and join the la leche league for support and to answer your questions.
The other huge issue in this book, is laying your baby down to "cry it out" and training your baby to sleep through the night. If you are a supporter of the family bed, just ignore the information on sleeping through the night and make use of the rest of the advice in the book.
This book DOES NOT accuse your baby of being manipulative, or accuse you of spoiling your baby by picking him up and holding him. This book also does not demand that you put your baby on a rigid schedule to supress their little will. A matter of fact, the book states specifically that you cannot spoil a baby by holding them, and tells you that it is medically necessary for the baby to wake you up in the middle of the night to eat during the first three months of life. What the authors are talking about when they talk about "crying it out" is that, babies will cry because they are tired or overstimulated, in which case they NEED to just lay down for 10 to 15 minutes so that he/she can go to sleep. If you believe differently, fine. You should raise your baby how you believe is right, not how ANY book tells you to. But, dismissing this book in entirety means missing out on a very useful informative source.

I absolutely hated What to Expect When You're Expecting. Hated it. So when a friend gave me this book as a gift when I was pregnant, I kind of put it to the side, never expecting to use it.

Well, I surprised myself. I actually refer to this book a lot in caring for my now almost-6-month-old son.

What I like about the book is that the questions that it addresses are very much like real-life questions people ask about their babies. Some of the questions are word-for-word questions my husband and I have asked each other. That makes the information very accessible and I think, reassuring. You get a sense that "Oh good, my five-month-old is not the only one in the world who seems to be coughing just to get my attention."

There's a really comprehensive amount of information about nearly every parenting topic you can think of. In particular, the section about infant illness is invaluable. Great charts of symptoms and treatments for those symptoms, explanations about how to do home treatments, etc. My son has gotten a couple of colds, one of which brought on a croupy cough, and the book's advice about steam treatments and a quick trip outside helping were right-on, and exactly what my mom and grandma had told me worked to help croup. Without the book's specific description of what croup and stridor sound like, and how to treat it, I probably would have ended up in the emergency room with my son.

That being said, here are the things I don't like about this book.
- The information is supposedly unbiased, but the author comes down firmly on the pro or con side of an issue and there's not a lot of doubt about what the author feels you "should" or "should not" do. The author is against pacifiers, against co-sleeping, is much too cautionary about babywearing, and advocates CIO as a way to get a baby to sleep - there's a whole section about how to do CIO in the six-month chapter. The book is also very, VERY pro-breastfeeding. I breastfeed, so it didn't "bother" me, per se, but if a mom has to or chooses to formula feed, the constant references to breastfeeding and questions about breastfeeding that are found over and over and OVER in the book's pages would probably be a big turnoff. There's some lip service paid to "well, formula feeding is an OK choice" but there's a VERY clear and VERY strong message that you should breastfeed until your child is a year old, period. I know a lot of women who tried valiantly to breastfeed and just could not, and I have had my own challenges with it. I am all for breastfeeding advocacy and I consider myself an advocate for breastfeeding, but the tone and the repeated admonishments to breastfeed for a year were over-the-top even for me.
- The aforementioned section about CIO was pretty terrible. There were no discussions about ways to avoid CIO other than extended family bedsharing (which the author was lukewarm about recommending, at best), and there is a middle ground between the two. There was also no discussion about the fact that CIO doesn't work for all children - some kids are crying escalators, they don't calm down after crying for an extended period but instead get more upset, and trying CIO with a baby like that is going to be traumatizing for all involved. There's a pretty terrifying section that talks about how to deal with the noise of CIO, by notifying your neighbors, trying to muffle sound, etc. I just have to say, if your baby is crying that loud, that piercingly, and that long when you try CIO, you should consider the possibility that CIO is not working and is actually scaring or harming your child. CIO is a great tool for some kids, but not for all kids, and the book treats CIO like it is the cure-all for sleep problems. You get a sense, reading that section, that there really is no alternative to CIO other than having your baby sleep with you until they're 10, and there are other options (the No Cry Sleep Solution has some great suggestions about the sleep issue). There's also no discussion of the idea that nightwaking, especially for breastfed babies, is a developmentally normal and appropriate thing and will get better with time even without resorting to sleep training measures.
- The developmental milestones are treated as gospel truth and there is some alarmist information about "if your kid doesn't do X by Y month there could be a BIG PROBLEM." There's no discussion about what developmental milestones really mean in terms of development or the idea that babies can have developmental strengths in one area and weaknesses in another. My baby has always been WAY ahead in his gross motor development and lagging in his fine motor, which is a totally normal thing. But there's really no allowance for that, or explanation for why that would happen, in this book.

Overall I think this book is good and I don't think it's nearly as guilt- or panic-inducing as the Expecting book, or the Sears Baby Book (which is a whole other review). I think it's a worthwhile addition to the library of any new parent, if you can take some of the information in it with a grain of salt.

First, I would like to tell that despite one objection I have against this book, I loved it and my husband loves it and we use it frequently.

This book will give you insight about various child-care issues (from first bath, through first feeding of solids, to the home safety issues parents of a baby need to be aware of), it will answer numerous questions new mothers have (sometimes even those you might be ashamed to ask because they seem like something you should know without asking), it will show you basics of baby CPR, help you decide when to call doctor (and how to select one). You will find there overview of basic baby illnesses as well as various recipes for your baby's newly found taste for solids. It will show you how to stimulate your baby's development and how to make the time you spend with your baby the "quality time". It will encourage you to hug and cuddle with your baby as well as gently teach your baby some basic behavioral lessons. The best thing is that it never makes a pressure (or guilt) on you as to which course of action to take when raising your baby; it leaves the decision up to you.

Readers should remember though, that they need to read the authors' notes about the book and they should also check on any information they disagree with (in any book, website, or flier) instead of blindly taking for granted everything that's on the paper. This would ease the frustration of many readers that doubted the worth of this book.

I've read the Sear's Baby Book that many readers liked so much, and I must say that it is not really reasonable to follow for a family with average income and average work-schedule. I tried to follow advice in Sear's book and only ended up exhausted, guilt-ridden (I could never do enough) with fussy baby. Then I switched to "What to expect..." and I'm still with this book. It's great resource. My only one objection about this book as well as explanation why some readers might not have enjoyed it too much follows.

My only dislike about this book is the opinion that breastfeeding should be stopped at nine months. Few years ago, APA recommended that mothers should try breastfeed at least one year. This book needs new reviewed edition that reflects this recommendation.

About people's comments: * First, realize that this book is not and can not be the "know-it-all-be-always-right" book about babies. The topic here is so broad that that you will for sure find yourself disagreeing on some items while liking other ones. Authors themselves say that there is not one "right" parenting style; you have to decide which parenting style you like and which one is therefore right for you. The style described in this book works for me great though -- I spend lots of time with my baby, but I still manage the household tasks and help my husband pay the bills with my part-time job.

*Second, read and remember authors' notes saying that babies develop in their own pace and the monthly-development guidelines are only approximate. I found this especially true. One big lesson parents get is that babies do new things when THEY are ready (gosh, it was hard to master concept though); you can help them, but at the end, it's them who decides that it's the right time. This book tries to teach you that. Therefore, do not get influenced by those readers that complain about the month-to-month develompment guidelines, they probably missed the note under those guidelines. Also, the books advises you to check with pediatrician when you are uncertain about your baby's development -- great advice that can save you lots of worries (and unfortunatelly, many baby books do not really try to work with pediatricians).

*Third, the question/answer format of references is great WHEN you use index in the back of the book (as is logical for book that offers such an amount of information about such wide topic). I easily found answer for most of my questions in this book and it saved me numerous trips to my doctor.

*Fourth, the "crying it out" concept is an option/suggestion from authors of the book. They do not say you have to do that, it is advice for somebody who is interested in opinion. If you are not interested in opinion, or if it frustrates you, do not read it and do not follow it. There can't be right answer for everyone. As authors mention, there are many parenting styles and almost none of them are wrong. It's up to you which one you choose. And whatever you choose, it's right. Many critical comments about this book failed to see this principle and failed to be tolerant to other people's parenting styles.

*Fifth, you should not taky any book as you exclusive source of information. Always talk to your pediatrition about your concerns, search the internet, talk to other mothers. Pick what you think is best. It may be something else than this or other book says, but hey, if you think it's the best, it probably is.

Overall, this book is great resource and I recommend it to everybody.

I wholeheartedly agree with the reviewers who found this book alarmist and overly one-sided on many issues. My pediatrician agrees, and instead recommends the American Academy of Pediatrics' CARING FOR YOUR BABY AND YOUNG CHILD, REVISED EDITION, BIRTH TO AGE 5. What to Expect is a great book as long as your child does everything exactly as the authors prescribe. Otherwise, you're up a creek. Today's example: My 8-month-old isn't incredibly interested in finger foods yet, and this book makes it sound like she's doomed to eat Gerber purees for the rest of her life as a result. It also suggested that I was setting her up for a childhood of poor eating habits. A new mom, of course I called my pediatrician and he said I had nothing to worry about! Go with the other book instead. Rather than month-to-month guidelines which make you feel like your child is "behind" if he doesn't do something "on time," the AAP book wisely speaks about 4-7 month-olds, 8-12 month-olds, etc., at once. The authors recognize that every baby proceeds at her own pace. (What to Expect puts in its disclaimer that every baby is different, but its tone on many topics suggests otherwise).

This book, unfortunately, is not the same quality as "What to Expect when You're Expecting". The information is okay but it has not been thoroughly updated. (Example: the current breastfeeding recommendation is 12 months, but the book says 6 months.) Moreover, it uses the month-by-month organization that the previous "What to Expect" book did. The month-by-month organization does not work when following baby's development. There is too much variability. For example, some babies will start crawling by the 4th or 5th month. Mine was almost 8 months old before she started. Example #2: Solids are covered in the 4th month chapter, however, you can start as late as 6 months.

As a result, I had to consult several chapters to get all the information on a particular subject (sleeping problems, for example). Then I had to mark the pages so I could find it again later. Sometimes I could not find what I was looking for until after a lengthy search. (Let's see, would that be in the 2nd month or the 4th? Hmmm...not here...which chapter could it be?)

It wasn't long before I looked for a new baby book. I've found "The Baby Book" by Sears & Sears to be excellent. The information is well-organized, quite current, and quite thorough. It is organized more by subject than by month, but it still has a list of suggested milestones for each month. There's also plenty of suggestions and real-life examples as experienced by the Sears and by their patients. I use it all the time and I haven't gone back to the "What to Expect the First Year" book even once!